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What makes a Desirable Man?

September 24, 2011

What makes a desirable man? Recently I heard a conversation on a radio station about, “What makes a man, a man?” This is such a loaded question! Honestly I think it depends on your point of view, and your personal definition of a manly.  Before I express my opinion lets look at some traditional and urban definitions of manly man, or masculine:

adjective (taken from
1. Often defined as aggressive, strong, and unfeeling or stoic. Being masculine means no shows of emotion, no flamboyance, no hugging or even looking at other men, must be interested in sports and physical/violent activity.
2. What masculine is, is simply what a man does. Assuming responsibility for your actions; being sympatheticsensitive, and caring; and gentleness are perfectly fine for men. A true man is not a hard-nosed, violent, overgrown child; he’s a mature, kind individual

Looking at both of these definitions, they look to be polar opposites, yet both are deemed definitions of masculinity. Some synonyms for the word:
– man
– butch
– macho
– manhood

I would agree that some of these qualities are attractive in a man. I wouldn’t keep them separated like this. I have found my manly man. When I think of a “manly” man, I think of Bear. I think of Gerard Butler in 300. I think of Hugh Jackman as Wolverine. I think of a man who is larger than me, physically, some one who I will not break if they catch me, someone withchest hair and a deep voice. I think of your classic barbarian male. lol I’m not sure if I should be scared of my own self conscious here lol. Anyways,


The prompt for this post was a dude I saw walking through the halls today wearing skinny jeans. Honestly that is not attractive to me. Although he had the dark hair, the facial hair, a broad-shouldered chest and definitely a nice ass, I didn’t find him attractive enough to make me want him. Just pretty to look at, pretty is not a word I associate with a manly man. Mostly because of his jeans. When I picture my ideal man (besides Bear) I picture a broad-shouldered , shirtless tanned tummy, sprinkled with hair, and a bootcut denim covering his perfect ass and muscular thighs… not girl jeans.
Metrosexual is a coined term used very often. A man who is well-groomed to the point where you cant figure out which way he swings. Usually this involves a tighter denim as well as top. He may or may not have perfect hair, but often than not everything is in place. Now I dont disagree with a well-groomed man, but he needs to ooze sex, or something that draws me to him for me to recognize that he is in fact not gay. (Which there is nothing wrong with, just to clarify) A man is not afraid to get dirty, play in the mud, play in bed, and have fun without worrying about his hair or clothing.

Now that I’ve coveredthe physical, I want to talk about the emotional and mental. I think that a man who is comfortable being himself is sexy. Bear is never afraid to tell me what he is thinking, whether it is romantic, corse, or neither. Ithink that a man needs to be able to be sensitive without reprimand, and kind. A man who is capable of defending himself and those he cares about then turn around and plant a sexy smooch on her and she knows that she is loved, cherish and protected, that is the most desirable.


8 Comments leave one →
  1. Gillian Colbert permalink
    September 28, 2011 8:37 am

    Excellent post! For me, I tend to think of a warrior poet when I think of an ideal man. Ironically, my favorite “manly man” is Kern from Deep Space Nine, he was a Klingon and they tend to personify the warrior poet archetype. But I love a man who is strong, can kick ass, and speak eloquently from the heart (the poet thing isn’t meant to be taken literally).

    I too hate skinny jeans on a man. I also don’t want a guy who spends more time in the mirror than I do even if he is straight.

    • September 29, 2011 1:04 pm

      Thanks so much for your comment Gillian!
      I am so glad you were able to answer my question. I too love the man you described! Any sort of stereotypical warrior personified is gorgeous, its an added bonus that he can speak from the heart and in turn melt yours ;)


      • Gillian Colbert permalink
        September 30, 2011 8:25 am

        I agree completely! I have to say, I related your post to my SO, and he laughed. He was “so happy to know there are women out there that hate skinny jeans on guys too.”

        He thinks men that wear skinny jeans are “nancy boys.” He cracks me up.

      • September 30, 2011 2:23 pm

        Bear also thinks similarly lol though that phrasing specifically wasnt used.. the idea was the same though lol
        Too funny!!


  2. BAMF permalink
    October 19, 2011 8:42 am

    What makes a man desirable? Does a desirable man cherish the fortuitous experience of slow walk through a garden with a lovely maid after a fresh spring rain? Is smooth skin taut over a desirable man’s great muscles, is chin square and stubble ridden, does he smell of sweet pungent cologne, do his long locks of hair shine in the sun…..probably not. Money makes a man desirable to most women. Denying it won’t make it false. If a man has enough money he can win any girl in the world. There is no truth in romance; it’s a world of false promises and feigned beauty.

    The previous paragraph may beg a very important question: what in blue blazes is the one who wrote doing on a blog like this? And the answer to that question is that I clicked on the wrong link. And no, I didn’t read the article but I feel entitled to my two cents anyway because I in live in the US of A; a land where people are free to express their opinions even if other people think that they are retarded.

    • October 20, 2011 8:41 am

      Thanks for your comment BAMF.

      I think you should read the post, you might come across another point you want to argue ;)

      Also from your comment I am unsure whether I am replying to a man’s opinion or a woman’s. Either way I am interested in why you think the desirable quality is the only thing that a guy has going for him. That kinda means all decent guys with little to no cash are shot to shit, yet those seem to be the most happy? Food for thought ;)


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