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Enthocentrism… How is it ok?

April 19, 2011

This is a rant… not my usual subject matter… but youre welcome to read on, and comment.

I love to snoop around WordPress and comment on things that interest me. Earlier today I stumbled upon a post written by a Roman Catholic, which really has nothing to do with anything, and I will from now on refer to him as the Male blogger.  His post was about Gay Marriage, and how it is an illusion. Personally I was offended at this post and decided to comment. My comment consisted of a couple of questions and my own beliefs about the subject, just a little insight. I have omitted the bloggers name because this isn’t about him, but what about he said. Before you read on I would like to elaborate on my beliefs a little more. I fully believe that if two human beings are in love and qualify, as in have steady income, are not abusive towards people or substances and love their child and want the best for them, they should be able to raise a child without fear that their society and culture should backlash their decisions. I know many gay and lesbian couples all of which have children, and all the children have turned out pretty damn good!

My comment: 

So in your opinion… Do you believe in gay marriage? Either men or women? Obviously the word of god is a huge part of your life and I respect that. But I think, well from what I gathered in your post. You are missing the point of the idea of marriage.
Marriage is a social union or legal contract between people that creates kinship. It is an institution in which interpersonal relationships, usually intimate and sexual, are acknowledged in a variety of ways, depending on the culture or subculture in which it is found.
No where in this definition, which was found in a dictionary, does it say those two people engaging in this union is meant to be a man and a woman. The fact that two people love on another enough that they want to share that love and their life with a child is a magical moment. And I think that if that if those two people are worthy, as in not abusing alcohol drugs, or one another in a sort of way that they are capable of raising a child.
Kinship is different in every culture, some cultures in Africa and Asia do not distinguish between a man and a woman, but rather that they are both needed to raise a child ‘properly’. And I do respect this. I do believe that a child needs both a positive male and female role in their life, but that doesn’t mean they both need to be married to do so. I am sure that good friends, if not family will be involved in the raising of the child. It does after all take a community to raise a child, both men and women.
(This is not meant to offend in any way, I just wanted to express, like you already did, how you felt about the subject)

His reply comment was the following: 

Thank you for your reply; however, you are wrong as it is obvious you didn’t read my blog entry or follow the links to Dr. Esolen’s article. We would recommend you do so. While Male Blogger appreciate that you have strong beliefs on marriage and child rearing, it would appear that your beliefs are not well-formed and require further study and research on your part. “Gay Marriage” is enclosed in scare quotes because there is no such thing, like “almost pregnant.” It simply is a recent creation by advocates of the sexual revolution that will not extend for many more years. Your definition of marriage is cute and kind, but inaccurate – the 1st definition used at Dictionary.com is “the social institution under which a man and woman establish their decision to live as husband and wife by legal commitments, religious ceremonies, etc.” This is the thousand-year old definition and based on the traditions in virtually all societies, religions, and cultures. This definition has been questioned socially, culturally and legally in recent years by advocates of who believe that “what people do with their bodies is their own business, so long as no one is harmed,” as Dr. Esolen’s article cites. As noted in our early blog post, Male Blogger doesn’t believe this faux revolution will not survive subsequent generations. Thank you again for your thoughts and your email; we’re very grateful and wish you the best in your journey toward full understanding of true marriage.

Personally I was, and still am, offended by his return comment. Where does he get off telling me my beliefs are “not well-formed and require further study” fuck you and your ethnocentric view-point asshole… In no way did I say that what you believed was wrong or bad in any way, what gives you the right to do that to me? Did you visit my page and think me a whore because all that I have been writing about it sex? Is that why you thought you could get away with commenting back to my comment in this fashion? Well you’re wrong! I am a University student, majoring in English and minoring in Anthropology. I fucking know what I am talking about.  So I hope that clears shit up. Just because I write about sex, doesn’t mean I am a dumb whore who is uneducated. In fact I think I am quite the opposite. I am a feminist and obviously an educated woman. I have decided to embrace my sexuality through blogging, and I have a thick skin… anything else you would like to judge me on based on my page? Fucken bring it! I wish you the best on your journey to understanding an educated woman who isn’t going to tolerate your shit.

Also for those who do not know what ethnocentrism is, here is a definition:

Ethnocentrism is the tendency to believe that one’s ethnic or cultural group is centrally important, and that all other groups are measured in relation to one’s own. The ethnocentric individual will judge other groups relative to his or her own particular ethnic group or culture, especially with concern to language, behavior, customs, and religion. These ethnic distinctions and sub-divisions serve to define eachethnicity‘s unique cultural identity.

In respect to this post of gay marriage ethnocentrism would fall under the customs and behavior section of the definition. Because this man appeared to be grossed out my the fact that every couple, gay or straight has sex, that in some way they are hurting another person. Get your head out of your ass. Gay people, men or woman, are far more reserved than straight couples. And not because they chose to be, but because they have to be.

6 Comments leave one →
  1. April 19, 2011 10:37 pm

    Howdy!

    I completely understand where you are coming from here, and agree 100% with your opinion. The ‘male blogger’ failed to mention that the definition he took from Dictionary.com was the first definition. The one right under it was as follows: a similar institution involving partners of the same gender: gay marriage.

    Anyhow, society itself is still growing an appreciation for humanity as opposed to religious and political agendas. I have hope that if enough folks appreciate love and humanity, that eventually it will prevail. It’s sad that ‘male blogger’ has a myopic view of marriage, and unfortunately others share the same viewpoint.

    • April 20, 2011 6:23 am

      Thanks for your comment Chris, I really appreciate someone ‘backing’ me so I dont feel like a woman gone wild or something lol.
      I was seriously shocked at his reaction and pissed off that he had the nerve to attack me like that.
      And I agree with you, society is growing, and unfortunately because there are so many people who unfortunately do have ethnocentric beliefs I think that it will take a while for the love and humanity to prevail, but I am on that ship already. :)

  2. April 20, 2011 2:09 am

    Hi there! Thanks for visiting my blog… I wanted to quickly comment to say, I think ANYone should be able to get married and have kids if they a) want to, b) are qualified and c) loving enough to nurture and bring up decent human beings.

    MANY straight, ‘traditional’ couples have NONE of these qualities and yet, are still acceptable in the eyes of the traditionalists… go figure.

    xxx,
    Secret Scorpio

  3. April 20, 2011 7:50 am

    I could go on about this for a while…but I won’t. :)

    I never see anything in black & white terms…so I agree with points on both sides of the argument, but at the end of the day, I support gay marriage as a civil/legal union.

    However, I must add (respectfully) to what Secret Scorpio said.

    First, and most importantly when talking about “anyone” being allowed to marry: They must be consenting ADULTS.

    And secondly…as far as MARRIAGE goes, the ideas of “qualified” and “loving enough” are too nebulous. Who would qualify these people? What would qualify them? Who defines “loving enough”? And finally…why the hell does it matter if they love each other?

    Straight up with gay marriage: If it’s not our business what they do in the bedroom…then it’s not our business if they are loving, responsible, contributing to society…or if they are addicts, unemployed, or assholes…whatever. It should be kept to the same legal standards as “traditional” marriage. Like everyone points out…straight couples can marry even though they are trainwrecks. We shouldn’t require gay couples to have a higher standard of love & conduct. That wouldn’t be fair.

    The gay couples I know that are figthing for their right to marry, are not doing it for romantic reasons. They are doing it to be legally recognized as a union. End of story.

    As far as adopting children are concerned…that’s an entirely different story that should require guidelines regarding income, mental health issues, etc. Natural procreation, IVF, surrogacy, etc. should be kept to whatever standards are required of straight couples/singles.

    • April 20, 2011 8:37 am

      Thanks so much for you comment Evie!
      And I also agree that there are grey areas. The fairness between both a straight and gay union for example, is a grey area… not because there is doubt that this should happen, but like you mentioned what constitues a qualified person/couple? Again different people have different opinions.

      My main reason for getting this post out was I was pissed at the ‘male blogger’ and how he reacted to my comment. In no way have I fully expressed how I feel about the subject. And like yourself I could go on forever.

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